Bad Blogger

I've been such a bad blogger, no post for well over a year! What a year its been! I did meet my goal of being a 14-16 however I've spent a few weeks on the see-food diet and now as a result my size 16 jeans don't fit anymore.

Predictably I'm thinking new year, new start and have signed up for a monthly pass having not been to a meeting for about 18 months. I need a kick up the proverbial, and if that means shelling out 20squid a month so be it!

Its been a strange old year, my little brother got married and I was a bridesmaid. Amazing! Also my best friend got married which was beautiful. I seem to have reached that age where people start really becoming grown-ups. I turned 26 a couple of weeks ago and still haven't quite come to terms with it.

I spent most of 2011 in a pretty awful relationship. Looking back I wonder why but I'm quite philosophical and hold no grudges. He was pretty damaged and that led to a not very happy time for us both. I tried my best, ended up getting sucked into this weird, emotionally draining situation where I got lashed out at quite a lot. It was an experience not to be repeated, and one I'll never forget. Its weird how when you're in a bad situation you do what you can to struggle by, making excuses for things. Its only when it ended and I really talked to people about the ins and outs that I thought 'what the hell were you doing!?'

2012 is looking set to be a good one, however there are some question-marks over my job which is a worry. I'm in a new relationship now though and its all good. No messiness, no aggressiveness and now at the grand old age of 26 I feel I'm in a grown-up thing, its not even scary!

So I have a few new-years resolutions...

Learn to drive

Get stuck back into weightwatchers and ideally reach goal by Christmas

Read more (I got a Kindle for my Birthday)

Pay off my credit card

Get back into my crafty things

Blog blog blog

Naughty Weightwatcher!

I have been a truly terrible weightwatcher recently and have only lost 9lbs since July. Weighed myself at Boots on Saturday and am 15st 9lbs I'm waiting until next wednesday then joining a meeting in my new home - Leeds! I've been so terrible with my binging recently I've found myself eating things I dont even particularly like just because its there and I feel like eating.

I've been so chaotic with my food I'm actually looking forward to the structure and organisation weightwatchers forces me into and I'm hoping I can be a sexy size 14/16 by Christmas! At the moment I'm a size 17 - 16 is too small, 18 is baggy...nightmare.

Its nice and comforting to see some old friendly faces still about.

Hope others are faring better than me!

I will update soon!

Catherine xx

And I'm feeling good!

So according to my scales I'm now 56lbs down. I feel bloody fantastic, like a new woman. Went to a wedding at the weekend and took a photo of myself in the mirror. I keep looking at it not quite believing that its me!

But it is! New man, I feel like a new woman. whats made me most proud is that I've lost 10lb in the few weeks that I've been away from WW meetings, I'm going to go back to prevent things from slipping but for me it just proves that my eating habits really have changed and I can do it with or without!. Woop!

Hope everyone else is doing well :)

Cat xx

Stoooories!

WELL! Where the heckers to start!

I moved into my lovely little new flat and am now feeling pretty at home and settled. I've been there two weeks, theres so much I want to buy for it, I just want to nest! I also joined a free dating website as the chances of me meeting anyone the normal way are pretty slim and I thought it'd be a laugh if nothing else. Its true all the attention from guys has been a real boost, especially as I put a full length photo up and made it clear I'm a size 18 (officially no size 20 item fits anymore! woop!). Since joining up my inbox has just been on fire...now I've had a few weirdos and a few messages that have just said "Hi" or "Hi babe, you're cute, wanna chat?" now what the flip is that about...as if thats the start of a beautiful relationship!

So this guy sent me a message and he looked really cute, sounded really intelligent and interesting in his profile and had sent me a very much personalised and well thought-through message. He instantly caught my eye. We clicked straight away and soon swopped numbers. I dread to think how many texts we've sent back and forth but I've gone over my limit for the first time ever on my phone contract haha. Last night was our first date, we met at 6 in a pub local to both of us and after drinks, a bus ride into town, food and LOTS of kissing it was 2am and we had to face the fact that we needed to get home. Every little bit of me wanted to invite him back to mine but my head said no. I'm not long out of a relationship and this wasn't meant to happen, eek! I'm seeing him again on Wednesday for a cinema date...watch this space! I think I'm a smitten kitten already though....oh dear!

In WW news, I cant get to meetings until at least this week due to funds or lack of so I've no idea whats going on. The scales at work are innacurate in that you have to add on about 7lb but they suggest a loss so I'm happy with that. The first week in the flat was time of the month and I comfort ate a bit (a lot) due to feeling shit scared of being alone and the usual time of the month chocolate cravings but I'm back on track now. Onwards and downwards. Also now I'm dating I've a new excuse to get super sexy! I already feel pretty damn hot after last night though!

Hello New Chapter!

So people who've been reading will know I've recently got out of a long term relationship. The Big Move is tomorrow and Wednesday and I'm so excited! I've got myself a little studio flat in a popular area of Leeds and I'm full of mixed emotions about it really. I'm scared of getting lonely, but then I know I have friends at work. Since the weight loss and break-up my self confidence has just soared, its very strange. I feel like me again! I dont think so negatively about myself. I think when I was bigger I thought I had to be really interesting all the time and that people couldn't possibly want to talk to me but I feel much more relaxed in myself now. All very weird!

People at work are talking about me and the new male OT, he's yum and fun to flirt with but thats all it is at the moment. Still its nice being able to have a good old flirt, I'd forgotten what that was like! Saturday night was my first night out as a single girl and it was so much fun! Me and him were joking about faking a relationship to get people at work talking at work, it was a very alcohol fueled conversation haha.

I've spent the last couple of days packing things away and am picking up the keys tomorrow for the new flat. I can't wait to see it again, I just hope I'm not disappointed! Hopefully this is the start of an actual social life too as I've already got people pestering me to have a flat warming and one of the girls at work wants to go to the gym together. The times they are a changing! I also lost 2lb this week despite my alcohol binge on Sat night. Its all good! 4lb off 50lb!

All change!

So I'm single now, and I must say so far I'm liking it. I've signed for a little flat in Leeds. Its just a studio flat, the living and bedroom are together but it'll do for me! I'm actually quite looking forward to only having to cook for myself. If I only want cheap pasta and sauce I wont have anyone else moaning that its boring or anything. I have to say though, I'm now getting pretty scared that I've become too dependent on living with someone but time shall tell! I'm moving out the week after next and I've got such mixed feeling about it. Me and Mike are getting on loads better now we're not together as its like a weight has been lifted and I dont feel the pressure anymore to be happy.

I'm not interested in getting with anyone at the moment, though I have to say a little attention and a cheeky snog would be nice lol. I think the worst thing for me right now would be to get straight into another relationship. I think its going to be good for me to be single for a while.

Things WW wise aren't good, but we shall see tomorrow what the damage is. I put on 1lb last week after my little binge, but then it was time of the month. This week I haven't been particularly good or bad and I've done the 5K race for life today so we shall see. Hoping to lost the 1lb I put on last week at least. I need to get back in the zone! Going to properly point this week , even if I go over!

Hope everyone else is doing well!
xx

Off the wagon

I think this serves me right for being annoyingly preachy about how weightwatchers has changed my habits and that I wouldn't be able to pig out anymore the way I used to. I lost 3lb at weigh-in on Monday and the ex suggested getting a dominos which I felt I deserved. Only trouble was he had a voucher which meant he had to spend a certain amount. So of course that then involved ordering starters/sides. I didn't point or restrict myself, then had leftover pizza with salad for lunch the next day. I think somehow in my silly little brain I thought if I had salad with it that would make it OK, but no, I still ate 3 slices as well as the salad with dressing...feel a bit sick thinking about it now!

I then had a binge on Tuesday night while I was home alone. I was looking for flats in Leeds as I've decided I'm moving there since I now have to live alone. Thinking about that and the stress of not having enough money to move made me just want to eat. The only saving grace is that I binged on low point things, like WW biscuits and pink & whites. I don't even like pink & whites that much! But then thats classic me, shovelling anything in.

Yesterday was a little better. I didn't go over points (I'm now on a 25 point allowance) but not much of what I ate was any good for me. Only had 2 of my 5 a day. Today is my start again day. I'm not cutting back on points because I think I'd be setting myself up to fail that way, I'm just going to plod along til Monday and hope for a STS, I think that would be an achievement.

The ex and I are still living in the same house, which is fine at the moment. My mum is the main issue, she's really really upset that we've broken up and can't understand it. I think she thinks that we've had a fight and fallen out but its nothing like that. If that was the case we might be able to patch it up but once someone's feelings change I don't think thats something that can be fixed. She sees us getting on and thinks 'well, why cant they stay together' Truth is though I haven't been happy since September/October last year, which incidentally is when I started my job as a qualified OT. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I guess there's not a lot of point speculating though. Mum now phones and says 'so how's Mike, how are you getting on?' and when I say 'fine yeah' she says things like 'oh you're sounding much brighter now' The reason I feel brighter is because it is over and we've both admitted it. In truth it feels like a massiv weight has been lifted. I no longer have to pretend to be happy with him and desperately try to make it work.

Anyway I've babbled, I should go and do something useful with my day off!

Cat xx