Fat Photos

Thought I'd upload some fat photos to motivate myself. These are from my holiday to Turkey last October. At the time I didn't feel that bad but looking back, my weight was creeping and creeping up. I'll get someone to take new photos of me in a few weeks to compare and contrast. Or maybe some photos from my nights out this month. Losing weight is so exciting. Who knew!? xx

1lb to go

So...I lost 4.5lbs last week somehow. I thought I might have a STS because I didn't eat very good things last week although I did always stay within points. So I was over the moon with that, 1lb to go and I'll have hit my 10% and lost 2stone. EEK! The only weeny little thing standing in my way is 2 ngihts out this weekend. One is a leaving do for one of the girls at work, the other is a hen party for a girl I used to work with. I've been saving a few points each day in preparation so fingers crossed I can lose that weeny little pound at least and get that keyring!

Things aren't good with the boyfriend. I just don't fancy him at the moment, I feel like we're more like siblings than a couple and I hate it. He confronted me on Monday and asked me to just tell him whether I want to be with him anymore. Truth is I have no idea what I want. We used to be so good together and I don't really understand why we're not anymore. He's getting more and more insecure that I'm losing weight so he's decided he's joining me at WW this week as he's overweight himself. I suppose it'll be nice to do something together and may end up improving things overall :) Positive mental attitude!

I'm in a bit of a difficult place clothes-wise at the moment. Things that didn't fit before are now not only fitting, but starting to feel a little baggy which makes me feel rubbish in them. I like my shape and so like clothes to show off my boobs, waist and curvy hips. At the moment I feel like a sack of spuds in my old clothes! I also have no money to spend. 4 nights out this month is very very very unusual for me and I'm sure its going to cost me an absolute fortune. Hopfully I'll lose lbs as well as ££s!

Two new addictions

Ok so pre weightwatchers I was addicted to food in general. I love the stuff and I always will, I was thinking about it tonight, as an Occupational Therapist I'm always banging on about 'meaningful occupation' now...I may not have many hobbies but I do love food, its meaningful to me. Some people eat for fuel, I eat because I love it. I'm really enjoying sticking to rules, it means I can't kid myself that 5 packets of crisps one after the other is alright because tomorrow I'll be extra good. Sometimes I can't believe how easy it is, but I really don't want to get too cocky! I think one thing that helps me is the fact that I know theres people who don't think I'll manage to reach goal weight. I'm a stubborn cow so I will prove them wrong. If someone tells me I can't do something I will do everything I can to prove I can. I do like that about me!

The past couple of days I've been trying to save points for some wine at weekend but once home and with points to spare I haven't managed to save any and have instead had low point snacks each evening and used them up. Don't know if its because its time of the month but I'll choose to use that excuse for now. The only good thing is that I have a Just Dance addiction. Did 14 songs this morning and put my all into it. I've twinged something in my neck, spilled a drink and kicked the corner of the coffee table (ow...don't recommend trying it) but I'm not put off. No pain no gain!

Tomorrow is meant to be another nice day and after a run of 7 days at work I am going to make the most of that sunshine! I'm now in all but one of my size 20 jeans, tomorrow I'm going to try on last summer's shorts and cropped jeans some of which didn't fit last year. Exciting! God I'm easily pleased! Now...wheres that Wii remote??

Oh, and my second addiction? Beetroot! Random.

Body confidence

Is it just me? Or does body confidence differ from day to day? I wore exactly the same yesterday as I did today (apart from the underwear) and both days felt totally different. I dont really understand! What I have noticed though is that yesterday I was so good food wise! Today I haven't been able to stop picking. Maybe the 2 things are interlinked. I never thought I was an emotional eater really, though I do eat when bored and always have done. I just thought I was a greedy piggy who didn't know when to stop. On reflection, maybe I am. Luckily I've managed to stay within points and have done 10 songs on Just Dance but still...I feel rubbish. Things relationship-wise are rubbish and have been for a long time. I just don't know what to do for the best. I'm hoping things will sort themselves out but it doesn't look like thats going to happen. But anyway I'm rambling!

I'm going to enjoy my tea and have 2 party rings for pud (1 point!) and housework should make me feel better, cleanses the soul as well as the house when you're in the right frame of mind. Also I hear housework can be a pretty good workout so I might shove some cheese on the soundsystem and have a boogie round the living room. Curtains closed of course!

Shocked and amazed!

Wow! So I set up this blog purposefully at a time when I felt my motivation was waning and I wasn't doing too well at all. I Weigh in on a Monday and so missed last week due to it being Easter Monday. I did great over easter, had a KFC within points, had creme eggs within points and really really missed the fact I didn't have a weigh in. After that it sort of went to pot, I went out with some old work colleagues with good intentions and started off on gin and slimline tonic however then I had gammon at the pub (16.5 points - how?!) and it descended into 2-4-1 cocktails. I think the only saving grace is that I've had 2 days of training - an update to my 'Management of violence and aggression' which is basically learning how to restrain people on a mental health ward. It was basically 2 days of rolling around on mats so that must have racked me up numerous activity points which I didn't factor in.

I've also discovered 'Just Dance' for the wii and am loving it. A good weigh in was just what I needed, I've bought a weekly meal planner and and am going to plan plan plan, track track track for another fab loss next week! Its weird how a loss can make you feel...I wore a tunic top/dress and leggings to WI tonight and on the way felt really flabby. Knowing I've lost 1.5 stones now meant I walked home feeling like a different woman. The human brain is amazing!

xx

First post

I always thought blogs were really self indulgent, but I've given in. If its self indulgent, shoot me! This isn't 'look at me' this is for me. I really think blogging my weight loss journey will help me to stay on track and as my motivation is starting to wane just over a month in I think theres no better time to start. My life is by no means interesting so at the moment I'm unsure how I'm going to fill it. Here goes nothing!