Sunday, 6 June 2010

Slimming single

Oh dear.

I am now officially single. The boyfriend and I broke up on friday night after having been to a BBQ at his parents house. Noone knows yet, I dont know how to tell my family and I know he's not told his either. The tenancy on our house runs out in 2 months so we're going to have to live together til then, the rent and bills are too high for either of us to manage on our own. I have no clue what I'm going to do. I haven't been single for 5 years since I was 19 and although it doesn't feel real yet it still feels weird. Really weird.

Things had been rubbish for ages. I had stopped loving him ages ago, I really wanted it to come back but had no idea why it had gone and therefore what to do about it. How can feelings just change like turning a light-switch off? I'm still very confused. He initiated it. He said he's started to resent me as me not being happy with him is obvious. He's been drinking more recently and is obviously stressed out. I feel so bad that I wasn't brave enough to do anything about it sooner, and so have made him more sad than needed. I should have had the guts.

I dont know what happens now, I've never had a complicated break-up. Splitting things is going to be an absolute nightmare!- I own the mattress, he owns the bed, I own the fridge-freezer, he owns the TV, Wii, PS3, CD player etc. I'm also supposed to be going to America in August with him and the brass band he plays in, his family are also going. He's going to ask whether my place can be cancelled, but if not he's going to have to decide whether he can cope with me being there but not being a couple. At the moment it all seems a bit big for my little head to cope with and I keep getting tearful thinking about it.

Anyway, this blog is meant to be about weight-watching, I'm predicting a little gain tomorrow. Haven't been tracking and have gone a little mad since the break-up. Pub garden yesterday with him and his friend, then a pizzahut for tea. Eugh!

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